Little Shadow
by SillySilver010
Summary: A recursive fanfic of Silver Queen's Dreaming of Sunshine. It's an AU where Shikamaru and Shikako have a little brother, Shikamasa, who like Shikako has a soul that doesn't originate in this world.
1. Intro

How frustrating is it to know that if you were only born four years earlier, or even three, you could've helped? I could've been taken seriously. The world shifted into something different before I was born, my sister hadn't existed just as I hadn't. It was different from the world that I had read about. My sister changed the world, and she was determined to make it better. If I had been born at her side… I could've helped her. I would've comforted her and told her she wasn't alone.

What help could I be now?

My presence in this world probably just hindered her own plans… made things worse.

I was too young and too weak. After all I was just starting to learn the shadow possession jutsu and it was _hard_. Shadow manipulation is nothing to sneeze at. I was beginning to doubt I even had an affinity for it, was I really a Nara?

Clones and replacement jutsu's were easy in comparison. That was the extent the academy taught eight year old students. So I couldn't help be feel it, see it, my siblings were so far ahead and only would continue to grow stronger. They'd get more and more experience out on missions, while I was stuck sitting in a stifling classroom learning things that wouldn't help.

It was pretty damn frustrating.

"What's wrong?" Shikamaru asked, pulling out me out of my thoughts while he pulled out the shogi board.

It was always shogi, and that was just one more thing I had no affinity for. One more doubt that I was truly a Nara, like my soul was too dominant for my body to have influence and fix that.

"I should be out there with you guys," I ended up helping, setting each piece down with a soft 'click'. I probably leaked irritation, and I had no doubt that I was the most impatient Nara come to past. At least people were blaming it on being young and eager, but how long would they over look my behavior?

Shikamaru scoffed, "You still have a lot to learn, little brother."

"Don't patronize me," I snapped unable to hide my scowl, and I had been doing so well up until now.

That earned a raised eyebrow.

My face burned red and I dropped my gaze. I was more than tempted to run away, somewhat more because I knew that he wouldn't hold back in the game. And after I lost, he would make me go over how and why I had lost. I wouldn't be able to get away with things like 'because you're smarter than me'. Dad did the same thing. But dammit dad was a grown man, Shikamaru was just starting to go through puberty.

Yet… how could anyone treat me more than a child if I didn't act like anything else?

One more thing that was just on the list of frustrating.

"There isn't anything you could help with that our teammates couldn't manage." Shikmaru shrugged and made a single hand gesture, I had the first move.

Should I work on defense or offense?

Shogi always gave me a headache. One of the reasons I didn't care for it.

"Its not just that," I grumbled, hand hovering in the air. A split decision and I made my move. A frown pulled at my lips when he mirrored my move. I hated it when he did that It meant that he was toying with me, working to drag out the game for as long as he could manage.

"What is it then?"

How could I properly explain emotions and feelings I struggled with?

Shikako was already on her first life threatening mission, she and her team were going to met up with missing-nin. She needed more than her teammates… she needed more than copy-nin Kakashi. Just because Sakura survived, that didn't ensure the same for Shikako… and what about Shikamaru? His missions would get just as dangerous.

"I don't know," I said leaning to the side against the couch. More than anything I didn't really feel like eloborating more. I needed to focus on the game anyway, or he would never leave me alone. Worse he might end up getting dad or mom on my case.

"Troublesome," Shikamaru muttered but there was a smile to his lips.

"Mom's home," I commented, though Shikamaru probably heard her before I had sensed her. Another thing that I wasn't very good at. Granted Shikako had an amazing sensing range… Maybe someday I could manage half of the things she did.

The headache started creeping up as Shikamaru made the next move.

"Déjà vu," Mom muttered as she set grocery on the dinning room table. I twisted to look at her, she was smiling fondly at us. Shikamaru and I didn't play often, so I didn't really get how she was feeling nostalgic. I shrugged and went back to staring at the board. "Come help me put things away."

"I'll help, Masa needs to consider his next move carefully," Shikamaru said. He still moved slow as a nail, but it was much faster than when he went into thinking mode. Which usually meant he was trying to think his way out of things. He ruffled my hair as he passed.

I grumbled, words inaudible and glared at the board before me.

Why did they make it look so easy?

Would it be easy if I had managed some of those genius genetics?

Is this what Sasuke felt when Itachi had breezed through things so easily… before Itachi had- been too loyal to his village. I don't care what I was ordered to do or what my family had been planning, there was no way in hell I would kill any of them.

I folded my arms and continued to stew in frustration.

Eight years and I was nothing like either of my siblings when they had been my age. Now… even now their progress was exploding. Shikamaru was getting better at his shadow jutsu's though he had always managed them easily. Shikako was making breakthrough with her sealing and every other project she was working on.

Konohamaru was annoying, but now more than ever I understood his reason to prove himself. He too wanted to be recognized, which would only get worse after his grandfather died. I shuddered realizing I was comparing myself with Konohamaru. Sure he would grow out of it, but he was an annoying brat.

Hardly a day passed by when Iruka wasn't shouting at him.

 _You should be focusing on shogi_ ; I reprimanded myself silently and went back to glaring at the board.

I knew it was a mistake that moment Shikamaru scoffed at me.

Shouldn't he be off on a mission too? Didn't he have better things to do than to torture his little brother?

"Pain in the ass."

 _WHOMP_

"Shikamasa I will not allow such language in my house!"

Heads were not meant to make to make that sound. I clutched at my head willing for it to stay together. The pain of it, it made me think that otherwise it would split apart. Like a coconut.

Sure, I might've had that coming.


	2. Chapter 1

I was hurrying home, it was one of those evenings that I knew I was going to be late. I normally wouldn't have thought anything of it, but I had put off my chores. Mom was going to be furious. Then I spotted the man outside, standing in front of the door as if frozen. His hand was raised, as if to knock, but he just stayed there.

I hated that I recognized him, but not as the person I should know him as. I saw him as the person my lover in my past life had loved to dress up as. My heart ached and I almost turned right around. I did the stupid thing and pressed forward.

This would be another step at getting over that life. It didn't matter anymore, I had this life. I shouldn't keep dwelling on it.

I caught his gaze as I slipped passed him and opened the door. He blinked down at me, one eye showing a touch of surprise before it flashed away. I took in a deep breath.

"Tadaima," I called as I exhaled.

"Okaeri," Shikako greeted she had been approaching, probably to greet her sensei. Like I said her sense of people was far greater than mine. I didn't even know that we had guests until I was inside. I heard them before I felt their unfamiliar chakra.

"Oh-Hi Sensei!" Her smile turned blindingly bright. I tried slip past, now that my shoes were off, but she hooked me around the throat. She had me trapped, her grip firm. I suppose I shouldn't have expected her sensei to be a good enough distraction.

"Sorry, I'm late." The man mumbled in a bland voice that matched his expression, "I had to rearrange my garden gnomes, Timothy and Sir Bedevere aren't getting along so I had to separate them."

Shikako laughed and her grip almost started to loosen on me. But by then I was gaping at the man in complete disbelief. Didn't Kakashi live in an apartment? Didn't most people live in apartments in this village? Some lived in clan estates, but I had a feeling that most ninja kept to apartments. They would be far cheaper.

"Its okay, Sensei," Shikako motioned for Kakashi to come in and started dragging me off toward the kitchen. "We just finished eating, but I can heat up some leftovers."

"Ahh, that's not really necessary," Kakashi replied a little awkwardly. Was this guy for real? He could kill people with his pinky and he was awkward over social encounters?

Ninjas… I swear.

"Sure it is," Shikako's grip on me went right back to tight and uncomfortable. I tapped on her arm, and looked around wildly for some help. I spotted mom, but she was giving me that look like 'you're lucky your sister run into you first'. "There's a lot of leftovers, and I helped cook it specially. You can't turn it down."

"Guess I can't," Kakashi mused, expression wry.

Then Shikako released me and went to fetch the leftovers. I was allowed to make my escape.

"Get back out there," Mom caught me, "Go spend time with your sister, she just got home."

My shoulders sagged and slowly I dragged my feet till I was in the living room. It was just so loud… Shikamaru was smirking down at the shogi board. Naruto was buzzing with energy and for some reason believed that he should give advice to Sasuke. Sasuke was seriously considering his next move while ignoring Naruto.

Shikako bounced in after setting a plate with a mountain of food on the table. She looked so pleased with herself. I was mostly relieved that she was alive.

For the first time Naruto noticed me, as if I hadn't been sitting next to Shikamaru for the last five minutes. He laughed at me, and I was pretty sure I wasn't going to like him.

"A mini-Shikamaru!" He said in between laughter.

I clicked my tongue, not impressed. Shikako also laughed and nudged Naruto's shoulder, as if to get him to calm down. I frowned and glanced to Shikamaru. My older brother only offered me a shrug. It was true, we greatly resembled one another…especially our hair. Which now I wanted to cut, maybe the comparison would stop.

"It's not that funny," I grumbled, and I shook my head at Sasuke when his hand moved towards a pierce. He paused looking at me and moved his hand to the other side.

"Stop messing with him," Shikako retorted at me, "Don't listen to Masa-he'll only distract you so you end up losing."

"You sound like you're speaking from experience," Kakashi commented, sitting on the couch. I hadn't even noticed him come in.

I flashed him a devilish grin.

The jounin's eye crinkled in amusement.

Shikako made a noncommittal noise and her dark eyes flickered to mom. She had her old chucky camera out. Just one more thing that reminded me of a life I shouldn't even know of. I sighed and tapped a piece of that Shikamaru was considering.

"I was saving that one," Shikamaru muttered with a slight frown.

"You're going to win though, so does it really matter?" It was that exact toying around that pissed me off when I played against anyone in my family.

Sasuke's eyes sharpened, his mouth opened as if to contend then he saw it. He let out a sigh and flicked his king out on its side. Shikako quickly started reseting the board. Shikamaru started to assist.

"Kako," I said as an idea came to me, "Can I borrow a book?"

"Sure what kind?" She asked without even looking at me.

"The one about sealing."

Mom visibly paled, "Oh no."

Shikamaru scoffed, and even Naruto and Sasuke looked amused. I sighed feeling that I probably should've waited for a better opening to ask, say when no one was around I wouldn't feel judgment.

"I know better than to mess with explosive notes in the house."

"Hey!" Shikako instantly protested, "That was only once."

Naruto rolled with laughter.

"I'm not surprised," Sasuke retorted smirk spreading out to a smile.

Shikako ignored the two, and felt the need to warn me. "Fuinjutsu is hard to understand, I don't even get it."

I shrugged a shoulder, "I just want to take a look."

It was a relief when I was allowed to escape to my room. It was about the time Kakashi made his own escape out the front door. I rolled into my bed, pulling my blanket over me in the process. I was completely exhausted, from the social encounter and also from the long day.

Each day that passed I had regrettably taken my time to come home. I was just afraid that one day I would come and find out that Shikako was never going to come back. I was so full of fear that I'd get home and dad would be grim, Shikamaru would be angry, and mom would be horrified. I hated knowing that it was still a possibility. She would face more and more dangers out there. Shikamaru would to, but at least he didn't have a host to the kyuubi on his team and a revenge seeking Uchiha. It was the worse mix ever, who had such a bright idea of putting the two together? Let alone having Shikako on the team…

I think what I was most afraid of was the fact that I wouldn't be any help to her or Shika. I was useless to them, too young and too inexperienced. When it came down to it they would be the ones protecting me out in the field.

It was depressing to know.

* * *

 **AN** : I'm not entirely happy about this bit... I actually had to rewrite it completely and i had a few scenes i took out because it just didn't flow right. So far i have four chapters written, one in progress. I still need to go over the next chapter but oh man the ideas keep flowing and i have a thing that i'm going to do that you'll all hate me for. thanks so much for reading! I also am grateful when mistakes are pointed out because i am horrible at editing.


	3. Chapter 2

"Why do I have to go?" I asked poking my head from the bathroom. It didn't seem all that fair for mom to force me into training, today was a rare day off. I had made plans, plans that wouldn't make me dead tired.

"You've been slacking," Mom said pointing a finger at me. I flinched and glared at my sister, who had been working on her mission report. She looked finished now as she straightened out all the papers.

Shikako snickered and the lifted the book up and held it out.

I quickly snatched it from and and huffed out, "I haven't been slacking, I train everyday."

Mom's eyebrow arched high, and perhaps she was a little surprised. Shikako got up from her seat, her hand sliding the report off the table's surface. I scrunched up my face, this was her meddling fault, she let out a light laugh before slipping out the door.

"Go finish your chores, then we'll just see how much you've been training."

I groaned and I knew better than to argue. I shuffled off to my room and set the book on my desk. I couldn't help but feel that I'd much rather play shogi than train with mom. She was a spartan trainer, absolutely brutal. I knew that I was going to feel broken before the end of the day. Someone was going to have to drag my useless body back.

Then there was the matter of tomorrow, I was still going to have to get up. Mom was going to drag me out of bed then to go through exercises. Then if I was really lucky, or unlucky, dad was going to want to go over some small exercises.

I let out a heavy sigh.

* * *

"Mom," I whined as she decided I needed to be drilled in throwing kunai and expression became quite pointed and gestured to the post on the other side of the field.

"What have you been training on?" She demanded her hands going on her hips. It was a stance that Shikako took every now and then, a disapproving stance. "It certainly isn't your throwing."

"My taijutsu…" I mumbled in a low voice and released the shuriken in my hand, it hit right under mom's mark. I frowned, I thought I had put more behind it than that.

"Just your taijutsu?"

"I'm good at it," I said lifting my chin, I was one of the best in my class. I was fairly proud of the fact considering that I had Hanabi Hyuuga in my class. Still what did it mean in the long run? Nara's were ranged fighters.

"I swear child," Mom sighed shaking her head, "Well you better start hitting the mark before your brother and sister get here-or we'll be training early tomorrow."

It was a relief when Shika and Kako finally joined us. Shikako looked so smug and Shikamaru looked rather dreadful. Mom closely reviewed my throwing one last time before she started on them. I felt Shikamaru's dread when I knew tomorrow morning wasn't going to be very pleasant.

"Alright Masa, its your turn to show me your shadow possession," Mom called after timing both Shika's and Kako's time on the clan jutsu.

Instantly I felt my face burned, I forgot my tired limbs for the moment. Mom had to know, there was no way she didn't, dad would've told her…

"I can't do it yet," I admitted, avoiding the gazes of my siblings.

"This is training, try," Mom's voice was firm, she was in complete training mode and would accept nothing less.

I let out a resigned sigh. I dragged myself up to my feet. I went over the hand seals -too slow mom remarked- and started concentrating on extending my shadow. It pooled as I fed it chakra. Then ever so slowly, I struggled with it greatly, it started forward. It went out one meter, but before it could reach Yoshino it snapped back.

She motioned for me to do it again.

"You can do it Masa," Kako encouraged, at least that had been her intentions. I felt so embarrassed.

The third attempt frustration got the better of me and I stormed off.

No one called after me, I was fuming and they knew better. It didn't mean mom wouldn't have a stern conversation with me later. I felt tears of my anger burn at my eyes as I fled.

I didn't go home.

The deer brought me comfort, but I knew better than to go to them in such a mood. I would only startle them. I ended up trudging my way to one of the academy training grounds.

I wanted to hit something.

The training posts were unsatisfying targets.

Eventually I sat down, my back to the post I had been kicking and punching, and tried to clear my thoughts. The first things we were taught, the first steps to learning the clan jutsu were meditation exercises. Sort through your emotions, center your chakra, and focus your breathing.

My spirit was a twisted mess.

The first few years of my life had been mostly normal. Then I had turned three, or maybe four, when I remembered it all. Another life I shouldn't be able to remember. The nightmares as I slowly remembered had worried my family. At least my personality hadn't changed drastically. Maybe I became a little more reserved, a little more moody, but was that such an abnormal thing for a Nara child?

My breathing was unsteady, my emotions bubbled out all over.

How do they do it?

* * *

"Why aren't you home?" Old man Kasuga grumbled as I slipped my shoes off.

Instead of giving him an answer I made my way to the kitchen. I set the kettle on the stove top and paused before turning the heat on. Maybe I should cook him dinner instead? Then again if my family found out I could could then mom wouldn't let me get away with the simple help she had me do.

Still I had liked cooking, it had always been a welcome distraction.

"Have you eaten yet?" I asked daring to meet his eye, but I watched his jaw. He was frowning at me. "I can cook…"

"You should be home, helping your mom." Kasuga was working towards getting information out of me. He was a very patient man, and he knew that I wouldn't hold back for very long. He gestured with a hand, "Go on and cook if you have no intention of heading off."

I smiled and went to explore to see what he had.

"I'm so tired of never being able to manage anything," I said as I poured Kasuga some hot tea. The food was cooking, I didn't need to hover over it. At least for the moment. "Whenever I try and use the clan jutsu…it feels like I'm about to break my arm."

The old man took a deep breath of the tea. He nodded as he listened and considered his next words carefully. I pursed my lips as I waited.

"You don't want to push too hard," His words were a type of warning, "You just need to work at it slowly. You should work on that temper of yours too, you give up far too easily."

I huffed, but didn't contend it. I knew it all to be true.

"I'm trying," I sipped at the hot tea, it burnt my tongue. "I really am trying-yet I'm not getting anywhere."

"Where are you trying to go?"

"I need to be strong, I need to catch up-Kako and Shika…they were so much better when they were my age."

Kasuga scoffed, "Thats one problem there, you need to stop comparing yourself to them. You're not your brother and your not your sister."

I gave him a look, like it wasn't obvious I wasn't them. Yet how I could I easily not compare myself to them? I needed to be as strong as them, stronger. I needed to help them as they faced one impossible task after the other. I didn't want to see them die because I was too weak.

Kasuga rapped me on the back of the head. It wasn't nearly as hard as a hit from my mom would be, she only hit me on the head when I used 'unfavorable' words. I think it was more to break me out of my brooding.

"I need to be better." I set the cup down, I need to check on the food.

"Work harder for it, don't just give up and stomp off because you can't get it right away."

I grimaced as I stirred the frying veggies.

Was I so predictable?

Dad stopped by to fetch me, just as I was setting the table for Kasuga. Shikaku gave me a curious look. I shrugged and went to go put my shoes on. His conversation with the old man was short, but there probably had been a lot of information exchanged in it. I didn't bother to listen in.

"You cooked dinner for him," Dad stated as his arm pulled me closer to his side.

I grunted as I realized how exhausted I was. Each step was heavy, the day had been unforgiving and long. Physically and mentally.

"I didn't know mom had taught you."

Oh.

Yeah he knew exactly that mom hadn't taught me more than small tasks like cutting veggies.

"I watched," I replied after a yawn.

"So, what did you and Kasuga talk about?" He finally inquired, our home was in sight now.

I hummed in thought, "I need to work on my temper."

Dad laughed and patted my head. "I have some exercises for that."

I wanted to groan, I wanted to run away. I ignored my initial reactions and slowly nodded my head. I might have plenty experiences from a past life, but in this world, in this life, I was a young child.

"Mom's not happy with me," I decided to say before we actually reached the house, "I ran off in the middle of training."

He didn't reply instead we reached the door and he pulled it open. The warmth of our home was more than just temperature, it was filled with love. Even when that love sometimes came out in stern looks and fierce punishments. I hated that there were times when I felt a stranger to it all, I belonged to this.

This was my family. I loved them as they surely loved me.

"Tadaima," I mumbled right after my dad. From the sounds inside, they were starting dinner.

"Okaeri," Three voices called out.

My body complained as I leaned down to take my shoes off. I almost gave up and collapsed there at the entrance. I say almost because I'd still end up being made to drag myself to bed. Instead I became my dad's shadow as he went off to the kitchen.

"Mom taught us new jutsu," Kako announced beaming brightly at dad.

Earth style jutsus were so much harder than the clan jutsu I didn't even try them anymore.

"What did she teach you?" Dad questioned he ruffled Shikamaru's ponytail before taking a seat at the table. I sat down and glanced up at mom as she set down a plate of food in front of me. The smells made my stomach rumble.

I distinctly missed this.

Sitting together as a family and talking. It was happening less and less now that Shika and Kako were both out in the field. More often than not it was just Mom and I. It wasn't exactly lonely but we knew who we were missing.

As tired as I was, I immediately didn't want this moment to end.

* * *

 **AN:** Thank you guys so much for the favorites and follows and reviews! I am so surprised! Just-thank you so much! I am having so much fun with this... The problem is I keep on getting ahead of myself, and i have to go back and rewrite stuff.

I have a plot i'm just slowly working towards it. Also i've been thinking about Masa's team when he graduates. Which won't be for a while but still, he's going to be like Shikako a bit team wise. He won't have a Shika-Ino-Cho because Ino and Choji don't have younger siblings...

Also you might notice that Masa really doesn't have any friends. He'll make excuses and tell his family he's going out to meet with friends, but with a little investigating it wouldn't take them long to find out that he really is just off alone somewhere. Which makes him awkward around anyone who isn't family. I dono i just thought i'd share that with you guys.

Anyway thanks so much for reading!


	4. Chapter 3

I lifted my head up to look at the thing that had jumped lightly down at my chest. It was fuzzy and red. I recognized the creature instantly. I dropped my head back down and sighed. I don't know what Shika got from cloud watching, but being under the warm sun letting my sore muscles relax was fairly nice.

"Hey Mister Cranberry," I made myself mutter out a greeting, "Where is Chiya?"

As I asked the spider I stretched out my senses. Aburame were easy to point out, their kikaichu buzzed with life, but if Chiyako was around she was out of my range.

"Kunoichi class then?" The spider twitched on me and I took that as a yes.

Spiders weren't a problem for me. I had my past life to thank for that. There had been a roommate that had kept odd pets. Mostly snakes but he had a few spiders. The memory was foggy, but I recalled enough to know how to handle them. It also amused me to think how mom and Kako would freak out. Probably not openly, but they would surely stiffen up.

I laid there for a while until I figured it was time that kunoichi classes would be over. I cradled the spider in an arm, this small body made it seem so much larger then if I had been an adult.

"Shikamasa-kun," I glanced up at Iruka, he was carrying a stack of papers, "I didn't know you were still here."

I grunted and lifted a shoulder in a shrug, "I'm heading home now."

Iruka's lips cracked into a smile, "So it seems."

His eyes flickered to my arm, maybe he had worried something was wrong but then he caught a glimpse of the spider. He licked his lips a little nervously, clearly he wasn't too found of the creatures. Too bad Chiyako was also in his class, he drew the short end of the stick there.

"Hey Sensei, can students still graduate early?" I hadn't heard of anything like it since the last war had ended. I had a feeling that there were only exceptions if they were in need of soldiers and had a prodigy in the making.

"No, not anymore. You in some kind of rush?" He asked his expression wry. I realized that I was unintentionally following him.

"I was just curious," I responded with another half shrug. "See you tomorrow Sensei."

"Right, be careful Shikamasa."

I grunted and turned down the hallway. Once again I extended out my senses this time I managed to track down the kunoichi class. They were starting to disperse. The chunin teacher frowned down at me. Perhaps because most boys that came around were looking for trouble.

I caught Chiyako's eye, she had been with a group of girls. Classmates. She had looked a little uncomfortable and looked visibly relieved when she noticed me. Shyly she excused herself. I handed off her pet and muttered a quick goodbye while she thanked me for looking after him.

I stopped by the market before heading home. It was still fairly early in the day. I was digging in my pocket, checking out my funds. I just barely had enough for some fruit, yet not as much as I had hoped. Maybe I could pester Shikamaru for some money, do some of his chores for him… As long as mom didn't find out.

"Yo Shika-chibi!" Naruto's voice pulled me into reality.

I glanced around the crowd before spotting the vibrant orange jacket.

"Hey Naruto-nii," I greeted not all too fond of my new nickname. Still there was no stopping Naruto Uzumaki.

The blond suddenly gave me a dopey smile. I didn't realize why, not until he muttered happily 'Naruto-nii'. I had made a mistake, now there was no way I would get away with calling him anything else.

Naruto gave himself a small shake and then beamed at me, brighter than the sun.

"Guess what Shika-chibi!"

"No," I instantly replied and carefully picked out some strawberries. The woman at the stand was wearing a tight smile, her eyes turned wary whenever she looked in Naruto's direction. There were a lot of stupid people in the world, yet at least this woman knew better than to say anything.

"What?" Naruto gaped as if he expected my reaction to be different. "You really aren't that cute are you?"

"Can't you see I'm busy nii-chan?" I stated as I payed for the red fruit. As much as I wanted to bite into on, I held back. These were for the deer, it was one of their favorite treats.

That dopey smile of his returned for a breif moment, but he wasn't going to let himself get distracted. Not again.

"I'm taking the chunin exams! Isn't that awesome?" He had started walking with me toward the Nara compound so he immediately noticed when I froze in my tracks. My heart fluttered as a wave of panic gripped my stomach.

Naruto squinted at me, his blue eyes looking me over carefully as if he could see what was wrong. He flinched when I turned my sharp gaze on him.

"You better protect her." My voice came out a small squeak.

"What?" Naruto gave a small laugh and put his hands behind his head, "Oh yeah, of course I will! You can count on me Shika-chibi!"

I wasn't impressed and I could still feel the rising bile in my throat.

"If anything happen to her-" I tired to swallow down the images, "-I'm going to punch you in the face!"

He blinked at me, any false bravado he had used sliding away. Then he surprised me.

"Yeah, yeah alright… I'll give ya a free hit."

I kind of wanted to punch him right now.

"Naruto-nii," I said instead deciding it was best to think of something else, "Do you want to feed the deer with me?"

"Uh…sure?" He flashed another one of his bright sunny smiles.

"Some will eat from your hands," I informed him, though really they didn't just eat anything from your hand. You had to bribe them with sweet treats like fruit. Still not all were brave enough to come so near, the skittish ones would still hold back even if they too wanted some goodies.

I wouldn't say that any of the deer were domestic, some were just friendlier than others. In my past life I had known domesticated deer. The memory made me smile. There were plenty of deer who would venture straight into the heart of the city. My garden had been destroyed the first time I had attempted one. Then I just started the upkeep so I could see the family of deer every once in a while.

Naruto found the whole experience hilarious. His laughter startled plenty of the deer and I was pushed further into the circle of doe that were circling me. They all recognized the bag I carried, or maybe they just smelled that the source was inside the bag. Either way I couldn't escape and Naruto had already given away the berries I had managed to hand off to him.

"I can barely see your head Shika-chibi," Naruto bubbled with more laughter.

I slipped under a doe, it wasn't the safest thing to do but it was my only option. Then I tossed the remaining strawberries to the deer keeping their distance. Plenty of the group tried to follow the through but they didn't make it in time.

"Are you going to stay for dinner?" I asked the blond.

We had Naruto and Sasuke, and sometimes Kakashi, for dinner far more often than not. It was actually pretty fun, especially when I could play shogi against Naruto and actually win. I never won any games against my family. Mom didn't really play, at least she didn't anymore. The last time she had, she had lost against me. It had been a big moment for me, but I think it was just further discouragement for herself.

"Would that be alright?" Naruto asked scratching at his cheek.

"Of course, why wouldn't it be?" Shikako surprised us, she looked very amused.

"O-okay than," Naruto decided, still slightly flustered.

* * *

 **AN:** As to answer the question, no Shikako doesn't know that Masa is reincarnated. I've written scenes and situations where he tells her, but nothing that seems like an actual situation that would happen so far. The reason she doesn't know right now is because by the time he was remembering his previous life Shikako was in school. If he ever revealed anything telling she just hadn't been around to witness it. And now there is a far less chance of him telling her, mainly because she's so busy trying to fix the world. Is he just too afraid? Probably because Shikako would totally pull a Shikamaru and make sure that her little brother was safe. That would probably mean making sure he couldn't become a ninja so Masa wouldn't make the sacrifices she does.

and really i think the only reason Masa knows about Shikako is probably because he caught her singing a tone or maybe she quoted something that made him just stop and stare at her. He probably had a mini panic attack as he realized why Shikako was so motivated which probably in turn just made him want to grow up faster... *shrugs* at least that's one of my many theories.

Oh and last chapter i might've said he doesn't have friends. well he has people he's friendly towards but no one he hangs out with.


	5. Chapter 4

Due to the chunin exams being at the academy, or at least the first exam, students were released when we normally were freed for lunch. I went home almost immediately, I might've taken my time getting there, and went to open the book Shikako had lent me. I flipped through the first few pages before I decided that I would need a quiet place where I would be undisturbed.

There was a chance if I stuck around I would end up pulled into training or extra chores. Yet at least when I got home it was empty, mom was probably out doing one thing or another. Shikamaru and Shikako had probably left to meet with their teams.

I dumped a variety of things in my backpack. One thing I took other than a blank notebook was my drawing notebook. I kept it well hidden under my bed. No one could get to it unless they moved the bed, which if it ever happened I would know. Being small had many advantages.

 _What kind of ninja do I want to become?_

Shikako was going to be a well rounded ninja, she would no doubt want to be an s-ranked ninja. With the shit storm that was our possible future, I didn't blame her. Shikamaru was tactical, he was strongest in the clan jutsu and probably alway would be. In the previous life, Shikamaru had been Naruto's adviser? Or maybe he had become the jounin commander like dad?

The details fuzzed, but there were faint impressions when I tried to think back. I admit the manga known as Naruto hadn't been a big part of my life. It had just been an interesting story. I had read it whenever I had the time. I wished I had paid more attention and had retained more knowledge, like the more important things.

Yet maybe I had and they were just fading now. Memories tended to do that. Memories linked to strong emotions lasted long, which some I were glad for. Others just made me realize that this world wasn't all that darker from the one I could recall. Sure this one trained children to be soldiers, but that just meant we were better able to defend ourselves.

I was stronger in this life, but still not strong enough.

Seals were supposed to be artistic right? It was what had caught my curiosity. The academy had barely brushed over it, but I had been highly artistic in my past life and that had filtered over. So if Seals were artistic then I had a chance at having an affinity for it, right?

I could've hidden myself in my 'secret' clearing. It was just a clearing that the deer had shown me. Anyone in the clan could've easily found it. Yet no one actually seemed to visit the area. Instead I headed to the clan library. I had a feeling that I would trying to get as many books of reference I could manage.

This was where Kako had pulled together her knowledge of seals. Her specialty was explosive notes. I didn't like the idea of explosives. Seeing limbs being ripped apart just made my stomach sour.

Shikako's book wasn't exactly informative. It gave brief explanation of all the different type of seals. It seemed that most seals were medical, at least the recorded seals. Ninjas and there secrets… if Seal Masters hadn't been so secretive and taught more than one person to carry on their knowledge.

Yet there was also a reason why there weren't very many seal master. This stuff was complex as hell. The kind of thing that took a lot of patience. If I had been a normal eight year old I would've opened the book seen it and instantly closed it with a big fat 'nope'. Still even with a mind or memories of an adult, I struggled through it all.

Nara R&D they did seal stuff.

To be honest I never was a very good desk studier. I managed well enough here, but I learned far more by hearing and if possible seeing it.

So after an hour I gave up on pushing through it on my own and collected my things. I scuttled out of the library and didn't have to go far to go to the Research and Development office.

"What're you doing here?" Kofuku asked her eyes jumping from my face to my bag. "Well boy? We're busy here."

"I need help," I said as if it should be obvious, "I want to understand seals."

"You and the world kid," The older woman scoffed and waved a hand for me to come in. "Try to narrow it down and I'll see what I can spare."

"I have a few questions," I warned and took a seat on a stool, "Are seals more like science, math, or art? Or is a mix of all three? Some seals have to have to have a general calculation for output or input. I suppose out of everything I really want to know how chakra and ink can create something that can explode or store a book. Or rather does someone have to understand these things to make them?"

The woman's face was pensive, then a smile cracked the expression.

"I should have known this wouldn't be easy," She sighed yet was still smiling, "Have you pestered Shikako?"

I shook my head, "She gave me the book but she got busy-now she has chunin exams."

"I should have known," She repeated a little more breathy, "I'm not fond of repeating myself so listen up."

I jotted down notes as she spoke, she delved into topics I hadn't asked about she was in some sort of sharing mode. I started stuff that had caught my intrested and seemed important at the time. Some of it, I felt completely lost. She must've seen it in my expression because she'd wave her hand and say that never mind that was way beyond my level.

Often she would get interrupted. People who were curious about what was going on and people who needed advice or something signed off on.

I was frowning over my notes as I waited. I had a headache of course, the same kind of headache that came to me when playing shogi. The kind of headache that told me I needed to take a break and that I couldn't just force myself through it.

"What're you got?" Kofuku demanded taking my drawing notebook, I had been using it to reinforce the notebook as I wrote. I paled as she opened the book. Those weren't things I shared. Her eyebrows shot up and she gave me a scrutinizing look. "These are yours."

I knew better than to snatch it back, but if I couldn't get it back I was going to bolt. The skill of art in that wasn't something any normal eight year old would be able to manage. In fact my art work was better than previous because my hands were so much steadier and I could be more precise.

"Yes ma'am," My mouth was dust. Then I flushed as I realized she wasn't looking at the scenery drawing, she was looking at the one I had done of my family. The twins were sitting side by side considering the shogi board carefully. Dad was playing against them. Mom was sitting down, she had been fixing a hole in my pants -or had it been my shirt-. It was one of my favorite, it had taken me about three weeks to get everything just right.

"You shouldn't be so reserved, this is the kind of talent you show the world." She flipped through a few more. I wondered if she had any intention of handing it back to me. My hand was a little shaky when she did hand it back. I was just glad that it wasn't one of my older drawing pads, ones where I had tried to recreate the world I had been from.

"It isn't a useful ninja skill." Instead of giving me the thing back she hit me on the head with it.

"Of course it is," She said, but offered no explanation on how, "Now go, I've wasted too much time and I have actual work to do. Run off and play with your friends."

I bowed my head politely, "Thank you for helping Kofuku-oba."

* * *

 **AN:** I realized that I kept leaving this important bit about Masa out. Yes he is a ball of frustration when it comes to training, but he isn't always angry. He had a lot of methods to soothe himself, yet he doesn't draw in the open... which is his number one most effective way to calm down. Yet of course he doesn't always get away to a secluded spot. So of course he needs better methods to diffuse, methods where it doesn't matter who is around.

It may be the thing that gives him away to Shikako ~~


	6. Chapter 5

Shikako and Shikamaru came home surprisingly early. Shika shrugged off the exam it wasn't anything short of 'troublesome'. Kako explained to mom that it had only been a written test, nothing to worry about. The tightness around Kako's eyes told another story. I was sure she knew what was coming up, maybe she hadn't been as avid a reader of manga as I but I was sure she knew. After all she sang tunes from a world neither of us should know.

I felt so helpless. I hovered in front of her door. She could sense me but she was busy. Probably going over her mission pack. Probably preparing for tomorrow. Shikamaru was in his room too, he was preparing too.

I went to Shika's room.

"Don't you have anyone else to pester?" Shika commented, his gaze brushed over me briefly.

"Not really," I replied and sat down on his bed.

Silence stretched out, my brother didn't seem to mind if at all. I was trying to figure out how I could get Shika to keep a close eye on Kako without it being obvious I knew something I shouldn't.

"Don't let anything happen to her," A whisper of a thought that leaked out into words. I quickly folded my arms and sent Shika a glare, "You're not allowed to get hurt either."

Shikamaru scoffed, "As if I would."

As if I would let anything happen to her.

Yes that was a proper reply. It was the best I could do for now. I was so helpless in the matter the most I could do was be a brat about it. I went downstairs and grabbed up the sealing book and my notes. My headache instantly felt like coming back to remind me that no I wasn't ready to go back to this anytime soon.

I ignored it.

"Kako," I called out before entering her room. "I need help."

"Oh yeah?" Her smile seemed a little nervous.

"Not right now, but when you're done with the exams?" I set the things on her desk, "I have questions."

"We've got an hour till dinner," She prompted and looked more like she wanted to distract herself.

This was probably a perfect chance to tell her.

An icy cold grip over my heart stopped the thought right in its tracks.

"I can't, mom's making me help with dinner." Just like she had made me do all of Kako's and Shika's chores. I had a feeling mom had been trying to distract herself all day and part of that was to get me distracted as well.

"Okay." A simple shrug, she smiled and then surprised me with a hug. She let out a grunt when I quickly returned the hug. Yet I was forced to pull away, mom was calling me. Probably because it was obvious I was bugging my older siblings when they had other things to worry about.

Early morning Shikamaru and Shikako left, breakfast had barely been made in time. Time seemed to stretch on as my stomach flopped around. It didn't go unnoticed that I hardly touched my food and that the whole time I had stared at the twins.

Dad decided to stay a little longer after breakfast. He sat me down on the porch and had me practice my shadow possession jutsu. I tried to clear my mind for it, tried to focus on my breathing. My heart was fluttering fast and I tried so hard not to think about it.

I could hardly focus and I had school still.

My shadow went forward, slow as usual, but for once it was steady. My shoulders were tense and my mind felt smushed. The kind of feeling when you pulled an all nighter because anxiety wouldn't let you rest. My body was too young to handle this.

I was going to break.

Instead I counted my breaths. One. In. Two. Out. Three. The shadow slipped forward, straining as only an inch was left. When it actually connected to my dad my heart leapt up in glee. I felt the connection, I forgot to end it in the rat seal I had been too excited. I jumped up, dad started to follow the motion before the connection broke. Dad's lips quirked in a smile as he resettled in his position.

"I did it!" I exclaimed and swiveled my head around to look for any more witnesses. Mom was upstairs busying herself with something. She tried her best to give us space, especially me, when dad was helping us out. I jumped up and down I couldn't contain my joy. "I really did it!"

Joy and pride shone brightly in dad's eyes.

I lunged forward at him in a tackle hug. Shikaku choked out a cough that turned into a laugh. His hand went my back, his other helped hold himself up and balanced. My stomach was fluttering with excited butterflies.

I couldn't wait to tell Shika and Kako!

"Lets do it again!" I declared and scrambled back.

I didn't actually manage it a second time. Dad also had to stop me from doing too much. I couldn't use up all my chakra before the day even started. Yet I had made progress, I had seen it. I had made the connection. His praise, although it was really only a few words, went deep.

I practically bounced with joy all around the house as I did my chores. Dad was still home, I didn't listen in on his and mom's conversation. It seemed like one of those that if I got caught listening to I would be in deep deep trouble.

I was so sure that nothing could ruin my mood, I should've known I would be so seriously wrong. It only took one thought, one reminder.

Orochimaru.

He wanted Sasuke's body because he wanted eternal life. He wanted the sharingan because it was capable of so much. Yet… what would he do if he ever found out about someone reincarnated? He probably wouldn't even jump to that, he would probably assume that it was someone who had successfully done what he was trying to do.

Cold dread climbed up my spine. My stomach dropped and squeezed, flipped. I rushed to the bathroom just in time. It was a good thing that I hadn't eaten much breakfast.

I could sense my mom heading downstairs, probably to check on me. Living with ninja parents meant that they tended to notice when something was wrong. I grabbed my bag for school and ran. I only just managed to call over my shoulder that I was heading off early. I ran like the devil was at my heels.

Shikako was in more danger than I had originally thought.

Heck I was in danger!

I had to get rid of any of my drawing pads that had anything connecting me to another world. I'd get rid of them after school, I'd burn them. No one could know.

"Good morning Nara-kun," Hanabi Hyuuga drew my out of my thoughts, making me realize I was just standing at the school entrance.

"Go-good morning," I was sucking in air. Her eyes narrowed slightly but she didn't prod. I gave her a second glance when she casually walked beside me. I suppose it made more sense then awkwardly walking as if we weren't headed in the same direction.

"Are you alright?" She finally asked as she stopped to open the classroom door.

"Do you think that they'll survive?" I asked, she had a sibling in the chunin exams too. I don't know how close she was with her sister, but it was still her sister. Her cousin was also out there, facing unknown danger. At least Neiji and his team had more experience and time as a team.

"Of course," Hanabi said as if it were obvious, "They didn't get recommendations for nothing."

The door slid open. There weren't very many people inside, wouldn't be until it got much closer to school actually starting. Still some few liked to get here early to claim a certain seat or to get a chance to hang out with friends early.

My heart was still thundering inside my chest. I felt so cold, it hardly seemed like summer was just around the corner. I felt like I was in the middle of a winter storm. I shivered and picked a seat that would be in the sun.

I tried working through a few mental exercises but nothing was sticking.

I could vaguely recall the joy I had felt earlier.

Orochimaru was out there hunting down my sister's team. I prayed to great entities unknown that they would make it out unharmed. I prayed fervently as I paid no attention in class that they would be alive.

* * *

 **AN:** Some good things happen... and then some not so great things. Actually the next chapter is a bit... angsty? I don't know how to describe it. You'll just have to read it yourselves when it comes. I might be dragging this out but some important things happen.

Sealing is some complex stuff... and i barely understand it. I hope i don't butcher it but i do have some ideas about sealing, i hope they come out as good ideas. Though i feel like Masa will be stuck until he can pin Shikako down to help him understand a few things... which i don't even know if that'll work out. They both think so differently. Which chapter seven and eight kind of go over some sealing stuff. because even the notes and things he wrote down from Kofuku-oba i can see him looking them back over and not remembering why he wrote it down or thought it important.

I don't know if that answers any questions of just brings up more. I wish i myself had a better understanding of sealing.


	7. Chapter 6

Not for the first time I had the shogi dream. The shogi dream was a reoccurring nightmare I had at least once a week. Usually it happened when I fell asleep in the middle of a shogi game. Pondering moves ended up becoming resting my mind. Then my subconscious would take over and instead of people they were all shogi pieces. I also had to move them all and everyone was so much larger than me and it was so hard. No one appreciated how long it took me to get them in place and sometimes I couldn't figure out where they wanted to go.

In some ways it was the better of my other reoccurring nightmares but it still meant I got no rest. So when morning came I really didn't want to leave my bed. I wanted to actually get some sleep before I faced the day.

Of course I couldn't get away with that.

I would've been dead on my feet had it not been for chakra. I relied on it so heavily, probably more than any child my age. Or maybe the small concentration I had to hold was something others did naturally?

Speaking of chakra and reoccurring nightmares… well it was more of a fear I had whether awake or asleep. I feared that my chakra would drift away. So I held onto it, a light grasp was enough to abate the fear. Lately it was becoming a second nature to me, like breathing… there were still nights when I startled awake because it was going to slip and I had almost let go.

So forgive me if I am moody.

"Hey you have time, go clean your dishes," Mom ordered as I set my plate and cup in the sink. I knew better to complain, just like I knew better than trying to skip out on the task. I still let out a small groan of complaint as I flipped the water on.

"If you don't hurry we won't have time to practice," Dad chided lightly from behind. He was taking his time with breakfast, probably savoring the time spent with his family. More likely he was trying to get away with washing his own dishes.

As much as I wanted to get better… it was another thing I didn't want to do today. Still another thing I couldn't get away with. So as I washed my dishes, taking as slowly as dad was eating, I went through a few mental exercises. Visual exercises that helped one focus.

A waterfall. How would I draw a waterfall feeding into a river? Careful shading, blurred reflections mirroring the tree where the river calmed. Tall pine trees instead of the Hashirama trees that surrounded Konoha. Bramble bushes at the base of a few trees. Perhaps there would be a few signs of wildlife hiding in the edges.

"I think your cup has been thoroughly washed," A smile tugged at the corner of dad's smile. He had put his dishes in the sink and had watched me wash them for him. I rinsed his mug and then set it on the drying rack. His hand went over my head, "Come on lets play a game instead."

"I'd rather practice," I muttered slowly trailing after my father.

"Yet unwise when you seem so distracted."

"I wasn't-" I cut myself off, I would rather not have curious parents wanting to see my drawings. Sure I had burned anything related to another world, but it still was distinctly something I'd rather keep to myself. At least from what I knew Kofuku-oba hadn't blabbed about it.

Shikaku's eyebrow started to rise as he stared at me.

I shook my head, "Maybe I'm a little distracted."

The headache came on much faster, I wanted to rub at my temples. Not that would actually do anything. I opted out to glare at the pieces on the board. I was going to lose, that was nothing new, but dad had said that I could get out of this mess he'd trapped me in.

"Think about it, I want an answer when I get home tonight," Shikaku said as he pushed himself up to his feet. It was long past time for him to head to work, yet the only one who could reprimand him was the Hokage.

At least I had until dinner, possibly after, to figure it out. That meant that if I got home from school I could take a few hours. For now I just continued to go over the waterfall. It had become less of an exercise and more of a project I was interested in.

Anything that kept my mind off the chunin exams.

It was day three. Orochimaru would've made a move well before now.

 _Don't think about that. Think about the fish that would be in the water._

"Good morning Shikamasa," Iruka greeted with a prideful smile. I glanced around the hallway trying to figure out what would cause such an expression on the man.

"Good morning Sensei," I replied noticing that no one was doing anything special other than walking. "Did something happen?"

"Eh? Ah…" Iruka suddenly looked thoughtful, "Yes well… I shouldn't be telling you this."

He leaned down slightly and my attention perked. He was going to tell a secret? Of course I would be interested.

"Both Shikako and Shikamaru have passed the second exam," Iruka whispered and let out a small laugh, "They actually came together as one big group."

They both were alive.

My vision blurred and I hadn't managed to get a hold of my emotions before tears started rolling down my cheeks. Iruka choked down his laugh and his dark eyes went ride. Panic. I quickly became horrified as I realized that I was crying. Now I was going to have the reputation as a blubbering baby.

My shoulders shook with the emotion and it was like the floodgates had opened because I couldn't stop the sobbing. Iruka crouched down and then decided it was best to reassure and comfort me. He pulled me into a hug, one hand rubbing my back.

"Its alright, they're alright." He whispered in a gentle voice. Iruka was very considerate, he lifted me up still rubbing my back. A part of my brain marveled that I was really still so small to be easily carried.

Well I knew I wasn't very big. I was one of the shortest in the class, there were girls taller. There were academy students in a younger class that were taller than me. Genetics seemed not to be in my favor. Not that being short bothered me, well it did but more the fact that I was still a child. I'd grow up, when I went through puberty I would probably catch up to Shikamaru.

"Shika and Kako are fine?" I squeaked out trying to dry tears on my sleeve. My body still trembled a little, but I felt better, calmer.

Iruka nodded his head and had a tissue to help. "They're fine, both of them."

I let out a shaky breath. "None of them are hurt?"

Iruka grimaced, "Light wounds, but your sister knows medical jutsu right?"

"Yeah…" I nodded my head alright so maybe it would've been unrealistic to believe they would be uninjured. Especially with a sennin looking to make Sasuke his next body. Yet maybe things had turned out better than canon. After all Sakura had nearly died hadn't she?

They were alright. My brother and sister were alive.

* * *

 **AN:** I actually changed the chapter like five times. The first one was super depression and didn't fit at all... then this happened with some help. I like it much better. Also i realize that my chapters are on the short side. I'll actually work on that. So the next chapter update will be much longer. Lately i've been doing roughly chapters that ate 1,200-400 words and i think i'll double that word count.

Again thank you all so much for the follows, favorites and reviews! It all means so much.

(edit: does anyone know why it says that there are more reviews yet not showing them? pm me or something?)


	8. Chapter 7

I glanced down as my side burned, my vision blurred. A brief moment. The shirt I wore was already dark and damp with sweat but just above my hip the fabric was darkening. My mind told me it was blood. My mind was also screaming at me to run. My body hardly listened. I looked up in confusion gaze searching for him. His dark eyes are loosing their light. There is blood marring his beautiful face. I reach for him and find a jolt as pain rips through my body. I'm falling before I can reach him. Is that my blood on his face?

 _Just a dream. Its just a dream._

I sprung up from my bed. My heart was hammering in my chest, thoughts whirling. At first I almost didn't recognize the room. It was a stranger's room. The body I was in was too small, a stranger as well.

A knock at the door.

"Masa?" Yoshino called out softly.

I realized slowly that I was pulled in tight. My chakra was slipping and panic rose up in my throat. I took a strong hold to keep it in place.

"W-what?" I swallowed down the tremble in my voice.

I was okay. I really was. After all it had only been a dream. Mom was outside my door, which was odd she usually knocked before stepping in. Perhaps there had been a reason for it… but it was odd.

In the silence of the room I could hear her relieved sigh outside.

"Come help me with breakfast," She said as she stepped away.

 _I'm okay._ I reminded myself as I slid out of the bed.

I went to the bathroom first, ignoring the small child in the mirror. My hands were still shaking. I washed hands and face with cool water and went out to face the day. Which I hoped to float through. I had thought I had worked past this feeling of being an outsider. At the very least I had more days when I felt like I belonged.

Mom had me doing a few more complicated tasks, stuff that she usually had Shikako do and on rare occasion Shikamaru. I didn't mind, the only hindrance was the short reach I had or my hands being too small. She was teaching me to cook the very same things her own mother had likely taught her.

"Okay, I'll do the rest," She said motioning me out when it came time to cook with the hot oil. "Go wake your father up and do some training."

I marched upstairs yet instead of waking up the man I crawled up into the bed with him. Which really was more than enough to wake up a ninja, especially a jounin commander. Still he pretended to be asleep still, even when he pulled me into his arms. I didn't dare close my eyes, the images were still floating in the back of my mind. Closing my eyes would just bring them back to life.

So I looked over Shikaku's face, the two scars that had always been there for as long as I could remember. I poked the lower scar, his upper cheek right under his eye. Part of my mind wondered what had caused them. A jutsu or an actual weapon? They weren't clean cuts, or at least they hadn't healed cleanly.

A dark eye opened to look at me, I felt my face heat up and pulled my hand back.

"Dad…" My voice came out a whisper, his other eye popped open and he waited for me to continue, "What happened to me when I was four?"

The man hadn't been able to cover up his flinch fast enough. I suddenly felt short of breath as I realized that something traumatic had happened. It was one theory why I thought I recalled a previous life.

I shook my head suddenly deciding it was better not to know. Then I realized I hadn't voiced it out and my dad was still trying to struggle through his brain. Which only made me feel worse, that it was _that_ bad.

"Never mind, I don't want to know." I hated my voice for breaking with emotion. Quickly I buried my face in his chest. Shikaku pulled me closer, hand soothing over my back.

"I'm sorry," The man whispered, "I don't think I can talk about it…"

"Its probably better I don't remember…"

Dad tensed slightly and I felt so guilty for letting the words slip out. I should've just come up with something instead of speaking what was on my mind. My body was trembling again and I was glad for his comforting presence.

Muscles started to relax, the tension in my shoulders easing. I let my eyes fall shut as staring at his rumpled shirt didn't give me much to look at. I must've drifted off to his even breathing and the hand playing with my hair.

Having caring parents were really nice.

And yet…

"You two should be training," Yoshino admonished as she stripped the blanket away.

Dad huffed out a half laugh, then his hand gently shook my shoulder as I tried to curl closer into him. It wasn't like it was cold but the blanket had been so comfortable. I let out a groan in protest, I was so tired and I was actually getting some rest. A dream of the deer living so peaceful in the forest.

I needed to take a moment to draw today… that might help out.

"Masa," Shikaku called out in a voice light with amusement, "Lets go eat."

I could feel mom's presence, if I didn't move then she was going to get involved again.

"Shikamaru and Shikako should be home today." I popped right up at his words, a little took quickly because my head slammed into his chin. I held back the urge to cry out and instead curled into myself clutching my head.

Yoshino laughed, more or less because Shikaku was reeling as well. She muttered something about hardheaded lazy bones but was still prone to laughter as she made her way out of the bedroom.

I kicked my feet out, they bounced on the bed, up until the pain started to retreat. Gentle I felt the knot that had formed, it was still so tender. I sent a teary eyed look toward my father. Maybe it was more of a pout than accusatory glare.

I slipped out of the bed though as Shikaku slowly dragged his feet toward the bathroom. I groaned again as muscles protested at me, I had pushed myself a little too hard in training yesterday. I had felt more than motivated when Hanabi had landed me on my ass several times during sparring. It was hardly anything to be ashamed of but it was just more proof that I needed to be better. Faster and stronger.

"Mom," My voice came out a whine, "Can we bake cookies today?"

"Maybe if you don't dawdle around after school."

I grunted, and made no promise. Since really if I wanted to get some drawing in after school was my best shot. It was the time I could disappear for a few hours without anyone looking for me.

* * *

I left the house after doing the dishes and feeding the deer. I had to repeat to myself that I only had to wait out the day. Maybe the twins would be home before I was even done with school. There wasn't a whole lot I could exactly recall about the beginning of the series other than Orochimaru and the Akatsuki being big giant dicks.

I probably was over thinking it all. They had passed and they'd be home. Yet I couldn't move past the seed of worry pitted in my stomach. The tension in my shoulders returned and the stress only caused me to recall my nightmare. I probably shouldn't have eaten so much breakfast…

The worst bit was that they wouldn't be any safer at home I couldn't do anything about what was to come. If we made to to adulthood four years was going to seem like nothing but as children… it was a big gap of growth.

I stopped in my tracks. I was about halfway to the academy, and people were starting to make themselves busy in the streets and occasional markets. For the most part though the area was more residential.

Sealing.

The thought pinged like a giant lightbulb.

There was a reason Shikako had started looking into it. Was it more than interest? Was she searching for an answer there?

My heart fluttered.

Could there be a way to get us back to the world I came from?

I was pretty sure she was from the same world, there were things she said and did but… there were moments where I wasn't so sure. I was just too much of a coward to confront her. She probably knew about me… I don't know. There were moments when she gave me these looks, but she didn't say anything either.

Still I could help her. She would be busy with missions, and now with the exams.

Instead of heading to the academy I veered toward Konoha library. It had far more than the Nara Clan library. I started putting together a list. Obvious anything I could manage on sealing. Most of which would be medical textbooks, but maybe there was something in the mix that Kako had missed.

I managed to pull some philosophy books, a lot of which were written by monks. I don't really know why I thought it would help, but there was a lot of speculation in sealing. Whatever might link to sealing, I added it to the pile.

My stack of books on the table I hogged earned me plenty of curious gazes. No one bothered me though, to which I was very glad for.

 _This could help her. I could help her with this._

I ignored all irrelevant thoughts and tried to pile together all previous things I had tried to learn about the topic. I admit I had been paying far less attention than I had thought. Part of me had just wanted to impress people. Now however it was different. I could help.

This would be how I would help.

* * *

I pressed palms against my eyes. All this reading and I felt like I had gotten no where. Not any closer to understand this confusing onslaught of information. The medical was the worst bit as there were more books on medical sealing than anything else. I had gotten a little more understanding on the different types, that some seals had to deal with the elements. Some to do with yin and yang. And then… there was some bits about spirit and souls and something to do with chakra opening the gate.

No wait. That didn't sound right. I think I was mixing things together.

My head felt ready to explode with information.

It was confusing and I didn't know how to filter through the important stuff with things that someone had just put in to sound smart. To which I would later find out in a book was a point to some other topic they added. And so was it actually important?

I groaned and didn't move.

"So this is where you're hiding," Iruka's voice was soft as we were inside a library. He pulled up a chair to sit beside me.

I dropped my hands to my lap and looked at him. "I'm not hiding."

"You're skipping." I almost groaned again as I thought of all the times Shikamaru got in trouble for skipping out on class. Maybe it hadn't been the brightest idea, I had no doubt that mom and dad would hear about this.

"This is more important," I decided and started to shuffle through my notes. The pages were covered, crammed handing writing to had questions and things I picked up later. I flipped it all to a blank page, it was rather nice looking at a fresh new start.

"Why is this more important than school?" He made a gesture that took in the whole table. I think he was trying to understand me, maybe because I didn't have a record for skipping. I suppose Iruka was awesome like that, never expecting the worse just because previous students had skipped to cause trouble.

Maybe I wouldn't get punished if I could make him understand.

Yet really I hardly wanted to think through this. I didn't want to deal with anyone right now. My head was throbbing and I needed to know this.

 _This is how I could help._

"Its important…I need to get stronger." My jaw tensed as pain shot through my head. Despite myself I started rubbing my temples. It didn't really help yet it gave me short break before I forced myself into more researching.

Ugh. I really needed to escape for a drawing session.

Iruka let out a sigh. "You are strong, and you shouldn't force yourself. You're the top of the class."

I looked at the man. I wasn't sure what to feel but his dark eyes were filled with concern. I recognized the look, remembered his worry and shock when I had burst out into relieved tears. This was him checking up on me as much as trying to get me back to class. Which the school day was almost over.

"I need to be better," Then despite the warning sounds going off in my my brain I added, "This is how I can help."

Iruka worked through a few words before finally settling, "But if you don't take it easy then everyone will only worry about you. Shikamaru and Shikako will worry. Your mom, your dad, all of your family."

I pressed my hands back against my eyes.

Adults were a really big pain in the ass.

Especially these adults, they were training children the kill. Why did it matter if I pushed myself harder than the rest? It might be the thing that ensured my life when I did end up going out into the field.

Iruka's hand went to my shoulder and I almost pulled away.

"They'll need my help and I need to be ready," I tried my voice surprisingly calm. "This is how I'll help, its important."

The man let out another sigh, "Let's go. Let's go take a break alright?"

He didn't give me much of a choice and practically dragged me outside. I felt cold dread that quickly shifted to surprise when he took me out toward a small park. It was empty and he let me go.

"Let's start with stretches."

"What?" I asked dumbly gaping at him.

His eyebrow quirked, "You've been sitting all day, you need to exercise."

I caught the devilish glint in his gaze, the kind of the look when he decided to test us in our skills. So he was going to punish me but he was also enabling my need to get better. Well I expect a lot worse to come later, but for now… it wasn't often that Iruka gave anyone one on one time. When he did then he tried his best to make sure everyone had a little of his time as well.

The way my head hurt… all I wanted to do was lay down. No, drawing would be better because then I wouldn't be thinking.

My body was slow to move yet after warm up stretches things got a little better. The knot in my back had eased away. But it would become nothing compared to the bruises Iruka gave me as his training quickly became mom spartan level.

I should've known that after the hour of taijutsu training he would make me clean up the table and then drag me back for the last hour of class. I suppose I was lucky I wasn't getting an earful in front of everyone.

Which I suppose only made them all more curious as to why it didn't seem like I was being punished. A few even stuck around after class to try and see if Iruka was just waiting after to scold me. I tried to ignore the disappointment some showed when I left the classroom like any other day.

* * *

AN: oh hey there reviews are showing up now lol thanks everyone~~ also hope you like this. I think the longest part of it was putting pieces together that i had written for a few different chapters.

and i promise the next chapter will be a lot lighter and maybe funny? i don't know it had been really fun to write at the time... again thanks so much for reading!


	9. Chapter 8

I felt unbalanced, being so determined and focused one moment, only to be confronted with the fact that nothing had really changed. I had hardly scratched the surface of sealing. And really, I doubted I could work on anything so complex and still understand it in the end.

When I got home it was empty. Mom was probably out doing something or the other. Maybe even getting one of Shika or Kako's favorite foods for dinner. It was the perfect opportunity to relax and draw. So I took out my supplies to the porch, it really was a beautiful day.

Usually I had an idea of what I wanted to draw, but I couldn't think of anything particular at the moment. So I went through a few practice doodles, there were more or less exercises. A lot like the brain exercises that dad had taught. The thing was, I couldn't remember when and where I had learned these drawing exercises. It must've been from before, but I suppose its not important.

"Okaeri," Shikamaru drawled as he came home.

I thought about replying, but I didn't want to lose my train of thought. I suppose I mumbled something as I tried to shade the antlers properly. The deer were my default when it came to doodling. Their dark eyes were filled with emotion and intelligence. I was never able to replicate it though.

"I asked," Shikamaru said sounding a little irritated as my drawing pad was pulled from my hands, "Where's mom?"

"Hey!" I snapped around and climbed to my feet. "I don't know, she's just out-give it back Shika!"

The jerk then held it over his head, looking down at me with an eyebrow raised. Then I noticed for the first time, Shikako wasn't home. I scowled at him, sending out my senses as if perhaps she had gone up stairs to shower or something.

"Where's Kako?" I asked my heart speeding up in pace.

"She's…" Shikamaru met my eyes, "She's fine. I'm tired, I'm going to bed-so don't bother me."

He handed back my drawings and dragged himself upstairs. I stared after him, before dropping my notebook to the ground. I knew better than to follow upstairs to pester him, not when I'd seen that frustrated look in his eyes. Something bad had happened, I knew that much.

All this waiting was driving me mad. I wasn't going to wait around for this, I could at least find out what had happened. This needing to know, this constant worry… it was really eating me up. How did people manage this? How did mom carrying on so well?

"Where are you off to?" Mom called out stopping me on the street, "Come help me with these."

"I can't, I gotta do this," I called and hurried a little faster when she called after me again.

It was sort of nice knowing more than enough of my siblings friends. I figured my best option was Ino, but Choji would know too. Well I could always track down Naruto or Sasuke, but… I was a coward. I was afraid to face them, especially if they took on that same dark expression Shikamaru had gotten…

"Hey, Masa, what brings you here?" Inoichi greeted me just as he was closing up shop.

"Hi Inoichi-oji," I returned and his smile widened, "Um is Ino-nee around?"

"She just got back," He answered and tousled my hair, "I think she's in the shower now, do you want me to pass her a message?"

I puffed out my cheeks. "I want to talk to her though…"

Amusement flashed in his eyes. There was also something else that I didn't quite catch, hidden before my mind could compare it to anything. And I wondered what he saw when he looked at me. Some kid of his friend, a younger sibling of his own child's friend.

"Alright, will you help me make some tea?"

I shrugged, "Okay…but I don't think I can stay long. Mom wants my help for dinner."

I was no stranger to the Yamanaka household, though honestly I was more familiar in Chouji's home. I think gender plays a role in it as much as personality. Though I haven't hung out at either place since Shikako and Shikamaru graduated. Fun and friendships were just things that put on the back burner.

I admit part of my obsession with making sure Shika and Kako were safe was because… they're the closest I had to friends. Which gave me a bubbly feeling to think about, I had a brother and sister and they were my friend. Well they probably thought me nothing more than an annoying little kid, but that was fine.

"What's on your mind?" The man asked as he put the kettle on.

I grimaced, I did not want to have one of those conversations with Inoichi Yamanaka. It was almost as bad as Dad setting up the shogi board. I felt my fate lock in, if I tried to dodge out of this it would only make things worse.

"How come you didn't have another kid?"

Inoichi looked at me over his shoulder, turned back to the stove, then turned completely and took a seat at the kitchen table. It was admittedly amusing to see him a little flabbergasted. Or maybe he was just choosing his words carefully.

"Well, Noriko and I decided that…" He paused and I don't think I've ever witnessed a speechless Yamanaka before.

"I was thinking," I deided to save him the trouble, "-I was thinking I would've liked to have a friend like Ino-nee and Choji-nii, and we could be a team."

"Ah, well Shikako is good friends with Sasuke and Naruto, they make a good team too right?" I caught relief in his gaze, his lips twitched towards a smile. A less awkward smile.

I sighed and slumped into my seat, "I guess…"

"Are you having problems at school?"

My throat involuntarily made a noise. The best sound would be a complaint, or maybe offense. I doing fine in school, though maybe less so since the chunin exams started, but I was still… probably doing far better than half of my class.

"No, why would you ask that?" My voice was a little whiny, I inwardly grimaced at the sound of it.

I did not come here for this. I just wanted to know what happened to Kako and why she wasn't home…. Maybe I should've gone over to Choji's the worst that would've happened was getting fed before dinner. Or better yet I should've risked Shika's irritation and pestered him.

"No reason," His response was light, yet I could just feel him analyzing me, "Do you hang out with anyone at or after school?"

I folded my arms and felt my face heat up. His eyebrows rose just slightly. I turned away from his gaze and considered bolting. Maybe this wasn't even worth it, I was just working myself up anyway. I knew I was. Every time I worried it would just end up as everything being perfectly fine.

"Mr. Cranberry and Chiya are alright… Hanabi is fun to spar with…"

But I didn't spend much time with them, I certainly wouldn't consider it hanging out.

"I should get going," I decided, "Mom needs help with dinner."

"Okay," Inoichi sounded as if he were about to sigh, "Tell her I said hi."

I grunted before leaving. Then I ran a hand over my face. Really? What was my luck? Mild at best… it could've been worse. I don't know how, or rather I didn't want to consider how much worse it could be.

I sighed and took my time heading back home. It was starting to get dark out.

 _Shit._ I realized far too late that I had just left my drawing notebook out in the open. Yeah I sure did have some back luck. It might not have been the worst of luck, but it was certainly bad. If I had awesome luck then I wouldn't have been born in a world where everything revolved around ninjas.

"Did you draw this?" Mom asked sitting at the dinning room table. She had water behind her that was just starting to boil.

My first reaction was to lie, but seriously… it was more surprising I had kept it a secret from my family this long.

I groaned, "Those aren't for sharing…"

"Then you shouldn't have left it out." She chided with a warm smile. She pulled me to her side, an arm around my shoulder and kissed the top of my head. "They're beautiful."

I chewed on the inside of my cheek, I honestly felt like I had extended my social interactions for the day. Which was a little funny, because I'm pretty sure I avoided more conversations than usual today.

"Now go and wash up, I need help chopping up the celery."

* * *

I wish I could say that I slept soundly, but once I was in my bed all the events of the day disappeared. I remembered the morning clear and bright, remembered the dream that had shaken me. Eventually exhaustion took over, it was a restless sleep but sleep all the same.

Morning came as a relief.

At breakfast I found out that Shikako would be coming home from the hospital today. My stomach soured and the food tasted bland and completely couldn't understand why Shikamaru couldn't just tell me that she was in the hospital. Shikamaru also mentioned that he was also moving on to the third exam.

I was forced to act like it was any other day. I went to the academy, found out that next week we were going to do a survival camp so we needed to tell our parents, and was more or less bored out of my mind.

Well I guess it was like any other day. I worried uselessly over my siblings yet had to trudge through like I was a normal eight year old training to become a deadly weapon.

After school I was heading home but then I swivled around and changed routes. Why? Because I felt Naruto's chakra fluctuate. I followed it to a small training area adjacent to the academy, where I found Naruto getting fed up with Ebisu. Naruto was begrudgingly listening to Ebisu as the man ranted on about chakra control.

I probably should've announced myself.

Yet I remembered the promise I made with Naruto. And I couldn't help but entertain the idea of hitting him in the face. So I spent half a breath on focusing my chakra and then went in for the attack.

Naruto was fast, part of his reaction was pure instinct. I just jumped in the air, leg moving in a chakra powered kick, and Naruto used a replacement jutsu. He used a replacement jutsu on Ebisu. So suddenly blond switched out with the blue of Ebisu's headband. The man's eyes widened just at the same moment my foot met his head. His body immediately slumped down on the ground.

I was going to be in so much trouble.

"What the-oh its you Shika-chibi," Naruto looked me over and the became solemn. The expression didn't suit Naruto at all, he was supposed to be sunny and bright. "I'm sorry… I was the one that ended up getting protected. I won't dodge this time, I made a promise and I'm going to keep it."

My heart was in my throat, I couldn't form words. I was freaking out and we needed to get out of here. I silently screamed and started pushing Naruto away, he instantly became confused but let me push him.

"Huh? What're you doing?" He asked looking over his shoulder at me.

"We've gotta get out of here!" I managed to squeak out. I just couldn't consider it boding well for me for people -people like say my mom- finding out that I just knocked out a special jounin. Actually any and all my teachers wouldn't hold back from punishing a student who put that much chakra into an attack.

"Ne, Shika-chibi what's going on?" Naruto asked as he steopped, and my pushing at him wasn't doing anything. He didn't even budge. Naruto was strong, sure I knew this but I didn't think he was that strong.

"Naru-nii, I just hit Ebisu-sensei!"

Why didn't he understand the urgency in this?

"I wouldn't worry about that closet pervert," Naruto said and turned so he could pat my head. Then his blue eyes had a touch of sorry, "Shikako is alright, ya know? She should be home by now."

I opened my mouth to answer but before I could form a sound a chuckle interrupted me. It wasn't loud but it was so unfitting to the situation. The laughter was the disgusting giggle one might make when they were doing something they weren't supposed to.

Naruto and I both looked.

"Isn't that the bathhouse?" I asked and stopped pushing into Naruto, finally realizing that I was still trying to escape. There was a man crouching by the fence. He shouldn't be able to see anything in the bathhouse… unless he was looking through a hole that had been cut out.

"What the hell, that guy is peeping!" Naruto exclaimed in complete and utter disbelief. He recovered quickly enough to confont the guy.

I gaped as the man introduced himself as one of the legendary sennin, Jiraiya. Also the writer of the Icha-Icha series. The kind that Kakashi was known to read out in public. Sure I had read the series, but it was a serious shock to find out that the characters were accurately portrayed.

"You're supposed to be some amazing seal master?" I asked in complete disbelief.

Were all the strong people in the world absolute bat shit crazy? Was it just a side effect of throwing yourself in one razy situation after another? Was this something I was heading towards?

Jiraiya looked down at me and smirked. I flinched, because I would've rather his attention stay on Naruto.

"You look like a smart kid," The man said with a small laugh.

"You know it, Shika-chibi is really smart," Naruto boasted proudly, almost forgetting that they had caught Jiraiya peeping on the women inside the bathhouse.

I almost forgot as I stepped behind Jiraiya to get a look at the large scroll slung across his back. It hardly seemed something that could be carried so carelessly. The rope holding it had to be digging into his shoulder or something like that. Or maybe he had some weightless seal on it making it light. I reached out to it to touch it, but then my senses prickled.

I paused and looked back out at the street. Ebisu was storming his way down, charing in our direction. I squeaked and now I was more or less hiding behind the toad sage. Jiraiya instantly noticed and was looking down at me.

"What're you doing kid?"

"Bah!" Naruto spat out, unfolding his arms, "I told you already Shika-chibi you don't worry about him. Here I'll show you how to properly deal with him."

In a burst of chakra Naruto put his fingers together then suddenly much like a henge jutsu there was a female Naruto. She was a little older and nude. The chakra smoke circled around her hardly covered up anything.

"Th-that genius!" Jiraiya said wiggling his fingers. His expression was very lewd and I'd hate to be anyone under that gaze. I shuddered and took a step away from the man.

"That's really gross," I stated far from impressed.

Yet it proved effective on Ebisu. Maybe because he had a concussion, he fell victim to Naruto's jutsu and fainted. Naruto instantly dropped it and gave me a sheepish smile. Then his expression fell.

"Oh shit! That perv was supposed to be training me!"

"I'll train you," Jiraiya said and Naruto flinched. Sure I might've called him strong, but he was a perverted there was no way Naruto wanted to be trained by a creep like him. At least until he himself figured out how strong Jiraiya was. Then he'd be clawing at the chance. "But under one condition, you have to use that jutsu the whole time."

"Forget it! Who'd want to be trained by a pervert like you?" Naruto sneered and pulled at my arm, "Come on Shika-chibi lets go."

"Now hold on there," The toad sage grabbed my other arm and made it so Naruto couldn't drag me away. I suddenly had this horrible image of my arms being torn off. "If you don't want my training, I'll train this kid."

I tried tugging my arm from his hold, but while it wasn't tight his grip was unyielding. The same with Naruto's grip. I was caught. I almost panicked at the feeling. I swallowed down the fear.

Sure I knew he wasn't actually offering to train me, but maybe I could get him to teach me something. I seriously doubted it though, I was too young and hardly had enough chakra to do a proper jutsu.

"You can teach me about seals?"

"I don't know kid, that stuffs out of your league." Still he was looking me over, eyes accessing.

"I'm learning the basics, you know?" I was glad that Naruto let go of my arm, then Jiraiya let me go. "Kako knows more but she's always busy…"

Naruto paled, "No-Wait! Okay, alright, I'll let you train me!" Now it was almost as if he were the one doing the favor, "But you can forget about the sexy jutsu!"

Jiraiya snorted, "Alright brat, lets go get started."

"Sorry Shika-chibi, we'll hang out later kay?" Naruto sent me an apologetic look. He patted me on the head again. He seemed a little older, I could almost envision the Naruto that had become Hokage.

"Its fine, you got the final exam to train for," I lifted a shoulder in a shrug.

The two left and I was forced to remember Ebisu, more because he groaned and was coming to.

Oh shit.

I fled.

* * *

AN: I probably repeat myself a lot. I should probably actually go over my stuff and at least try to remember what i've said or not lol well forgive me if i repeat myself a little in this chapter... i was going to delve a little into how Masa's art will relate to sealing but he's not ready for that yet. he still has a lot to learn before i can get into that. Which i hope you guys like it when i do. also since i have been rewriting chapters and changing quite a bit. all the chapters i wrote ahead of time are complete rubbish. so i'm not so far ahead anymore lol.

Thank you all so much for reading!


	10. Chapter 9

Slowly I slipped down from the hair until gravity was too much and I ended up on the floor. The darkness was nice, the sharp pain drilling into my temples seemed to relieve slightly. I curled up, resting my arms on my knees, my head following. I'd only been in the library for an hour. After a long day of school, I suppose it wasn't abnormal. A long boring day of school where I had been dragged in a foolish game of 'ninja'. Okay… I admit I had a little fun making my classmates run around in circles trying to find me.

It was nice to think about, better to focus on than all the medical jargon I had tried wading through. There were a lot of sealing scrolls, just about everyone used it, but there were some more specific for the hospital. Scrolls that helped keep medicine from going bad or equipment from breaking. There were a few barrier seals that caught my eye, but.. Its ended up just as one of those times when I repeated read the same page over and over without figuring out what I was reading.

"Shikamasa?"

The voice was familiar, light and feminine, but I couldn't put a name to it. Not until I peeked out back towards the seat I had abandoned. Sakura was leaning down, green eyes full of concern and curiosity. She held up a book.

"Are you done with this?"

"Yeah, I don't need it." I said and I wanted to groan as my headache came back in full force.

Sakura gave me one of those soft smiles, and instead of going back to her own business she knelt down. She kept a hand on the table top, probably to keep her head from smacking the edge.

"Do you need some help? Are you looking for something?"

"I'm going to learn fuuinjutsu like Kako, but… I think I need to put it aside for now. It's too complex." I only came to the conclusion as I said the words. I puffed out my cheeks and looked at her.

"Oh, okay." She fought down a laugh.

"Its really hard," I protested turning to face her "I'm not giving up though."

"I know," She said, an amused light dancing in her eyes. "Hey, you know I have an hour of free time. Do you want to go grab some dango? Maybe go play?"

"I have to clean up first," I said, there was no way I was going to turn down free dango. At least I hoped it was free. I crawled out from under the table, and was really glad that she actually helped me file away the books. She picked out a few to add to her growing collection.

Conversation was a little dull, probably because I had never actually hung out with Sakura. At most it was more of passing along a message or something to Shikako while she hung out with Sakura and Ino. For the most part Sakura always ended up talking about her studies and things at the hospital. It was a little amusing whenever she remember who she was talking to. Then she tried to work at other topics, but it never lasted very long.

I was glad when we got to the dango stand, she had started spouting out words that my brain couldn't even connect to proper words.

"Do you still want to be a ninja?" I interrupted her as she tried to name all the symptoms to chakra exhaustion (how she got to the topic was beyond me). Her hand paused as she accepted her change.

"Yeah, of course." She said determination burning in her eyes, "I want to be a battle medic."

The thought of dealing with severed limbs and the aftermath of a fight between two shinobi. Personally I haven't witnessed it, but I can't imagine anything pretty. Which always made me travel a gloomy train of thought. Can I really become a ninja? Can I become a weapon and fight, possibly, kill others?

I struggled to kill rabbits when we were out for survival training. Fish… fish were easy. We cooked with fish at home, but we didn't skin rabbits and disembowel them in our kitchen. I suppose that was the difference. Of course I could still kill a rabbit and all that, but…but it was something I hesitated over. Maybe I could do it without hesitating later, but was that a good thing?

"Thank you!" I said forcing myself to refocus on the sweet delicious confection Sakura handed off to me. A nice proper distraction. Dango wasn't my favorite treat, but it was definitely a top ten. My favorite were the ones that Choji's mom made. They were truly the best.

"Hey Shikamasa," Keiji called out running down the street. He was a cousin, a year older. I actually was pretty sure he was a distant cousin, just barely related and was about the same level as I when it came to the clan jutsu, perhaps behind now that I had actually managed to connect. His dark eyes met mine then he noticed Sakura.

"What's up?" I asked glancing behind him, but for whatever reason he was running I couldn't see it.

"I playing with some friends… wanna help out? I only have to find Hotaka and uh you remember Katsu, right?"

"Yeah…" I glanced to Sakura she shrugged and waved me off. I rolled my eyes. Katsu was a Yamanaka, Hotaka was another distant cousin -though closely related to Keiji-. I let out a sigh and shrugged, "Any boundaries? Where did find everyone else?"

"Cool," Keiji grinnted and snatched me by the arm and started pulling me, "I was hot on Hotaka's trail, he must've gone this way."

"Bye Sakura-nee, thanks for the dango!" I made sure to call out as I was dragged away to play. I suppose it was better than having to pretend to listen to Sakura ramble off again… which she probably was missing her friends. Namely Shikako and Ino that she would settle to spending a few minutes with me.

"Who was that, she was really pretty," Keiji asked sending a look over his shoulder but Sakura was no longer in sight.

"Shikako's friend, they went to the academy together." I shrugged lightly then paused, "Hotaka's right there, on the roof."

"I was right to drag you along!" Keiji laughed and with some chakra bounced up the roof. As he was a year older, their class was more or less allowed to do that without supervision.

I could probably do it, but… I didn't want to risk having to undergo one of Iruka's lectures. So I went the long way around, just worked perfectly because it cut off Hotaka's escape.

"No fair! When did Masa join in?" Hotaka exclaimed turning on Keiji.

"He looked bored out of his mind, so I saved him." Keiji replied, looking so very triumphant. I almost smiled but then I realized what he had just said. That was… well I was bored and zoning out. I guess he wasn't wrong.

I huffed out and crossed my arms, "Don't be a sore loser Hotaka."

* * *

Playing should not end up like training where my arms and legs being sore. I flopped down on the couch and belatedly realized that I had just landed in someone's lap. No not just anyone's, my dad's lap.

Shikaku laughed and tugged on my hair. I groaned and wiggled back up into a sitting position. Shikako and Shikamaru were both starting a match of shogi. Mom was in the kitchen, I was more or less surprised that she didn't have any help with making dinner.

"I was supposed to tell you that there is survival training coming up," I shrugged as I realized that I had been putting it off. Though it wasn't like it really mattered, I had no doubt that they already knew.

Dad smiled and pinched my nose, "Your mom will want to go over your pack."

I swatted his hand, "Can't you do it, though?" I tried my best pleading smile, "Mom has to go over every little bit, and then I have to pack it all over again."

"Excuse me young man," Mom stepped out, "It's for your own good. So get used it!"

The sound of complain was completely involuntary. It wasn't making anything better for myself. Of course I couldn't get any sympathy from my siblings, more or less because they had gone through all of the same things.

"Come and wash up, Masa, it's your turn to help." Mom called as she turned back to the kitchen. Slowly I got up from the couch and stretched out.

Today… was a good day.

Or at least I would like to think so. Sure there were a lot ups and downs, but that was life. It was easy to have good days when the family spent evenings together. It was like things could be normal, even if it was just for a couple of nights.

* * *

"Why do I have to be in a group with him?" Konohamaru demanded pointing an accusing finger at me. As if I were the problem here. He was just in a pissy mood because he hadn't been grouped together with his friends. Yet… even that hardly explained why I was the one he was complaining about.

"Konohamaru," Iruka said with a exasperated sigh, "We've been over this already."

This was irritating, and we'd only just got to the training ground. Better to walk away before I snapped. So I went over to Hanabi, she was talking with some of her friends, but for the next few days she was in a group with Konohamaru and I.

I knew what the school was doing, other than testing our survival skills, they were trying to decide which kids worked best together. Or maybe they were trying to get us all to be more united. I don't know I could probably figure it out through with a little more thought.

"We should tie him up in a tree," I muttered then because I was going to have to deal with that shouting, "Upside down and bait him for a bear or something."

Hanabi hummed in thought, "There aren't any bears around Konoha."

"Alright everyone," Iruka raised his voice, giving Konohamaru a look of warning. Well at least even the Sarutobi boy knew better than to contend with that look. "Group up and we'll hand out our assignments."

"Bears are attracted to honey… do you think Chiyako will be able to find some bees around?" I asked trailing behind reluctantly to stand with Konohamaru.

Hanabi rolled her eyes before I earned a smile. A mischievous kind of smile that vanished just as quickly as it appeared. Well maybe it wouldn't be completely horrible. Not that sleeping outside was all that fun.

Then… the pranks started. Stupid little pranks that were more irritating than harmful. I avoided about half of them. And for the other half Konohamaru had to suffer more than just Iruka's lectures on safety and getting along with others. Which was nice when Iruka had him doing useless tasks as punishment, because it meant he wasn't getting in the way.

"Want to spar?" Hanabi asked since we had some down time.

"Yeah," I said popping up from my seat.

There were other kids who were just deciding on games to play, but there were some groups trying to catch up on a handful of tasks that they had originally been slacking on. Yet things sort of changed when others noticed them sparring. A strange sort of competition started up.

It quickly turned into chaos when no one was actually keeping track of things. It was still fun in that sense of training disguised as play. For the sake of my dignity I won't delve into how many times Hanabi sent me back on my ass.

We all headed to our bedrolls exhausted. Which… probably was a bad combination because there were a few academy students around more than willing to dump water on anyone too slow to jump out of the way.

Yet when I woke an hour later it wasn't Iruka who was crouching over me. My hair pulled but was free instantly as I jumped up. My hair fell around my face and I gaped at the snickering boy.

"You are so dead," I snarled and was mildly pleased to see his eyes widened in fear. In the night I was short my clan jutsu, but it didn't matter. I couldn't do it long enough to count for anything.

I chased him around, and tackled him to the ground just our chunin sensei were starting to realize something was up. Konohamaru and I grappled before I had him eating the dirt. It was Iruka and Machiko-sensei that pulled us apart.

"What are you two doing?" Iruka demanded though he probably already had it figured out. I glared daggers at Konohamaru's shadowed figure. I more or less only picked him out with that chakra sense, just as I could pick out the two sensei, but everyone else was a clustered jumble.

"We were just practicing stealth, Sensei," I said voice sweet as sugar, "Konohamaru failed."

"Don't lie Shikamasa," Machiko's voice was flat, her grip on the back of my shirt tight. This woman was a no nonsense type, that was the nice way to say it. I for one felt only sympathy for the students in her class.

If I knew any earth jutsu then I would've buried Konohamaru up to his nose. But roasting him would've been so much more satisfying.

"Go on Konohamaru, tell them," I bit off because I was going to plan something far worse than any punishment adults could dreg up. He was going to regret messing with me, and it didn't even matter why he was irritated with me. I didn't care for his stupid reasons, he was taking it too far.

Did I care how short my hair was? Not really, but it wasn't his decision. His petty pranks, I could've ignored.

Game on. I could drop that low, and traps were part of being a ninja so it was a sort of training. More so if I could manage without getting caught. That would prove a nice challenge.

Maybe someone could talk me out of it… maybe I'd get over it the morning.

Right now though, I was planning sabotage.

* * *

 **AN:** This chapter started off as just something fun idea i wanted to write and then it sort of evolved from there and became a real thing. And i feel like i need to say that its entirely probably that Shikako knows but this story is written in first person. The only point of view you'll be seeing is Masa's... which to be honest first person is far from my forte. in fact its one of my first stories in a looong time that is in first person. but really thats an excuse...

anyway this prank war that has begun is actually part of the plot, though i hadn't planned on putting it in until later but then i didn't want to forget this scene so here it is! Enjoy~


	11. Chapter 10

"Chiya-chan, can I borrow Mr. Cranberry? I have an important mission for him," I said interrupting the group who had been tasked with keeping a fire small and virtually undetectable from afar. So far they were doing a good job, the smoke trail disappeared about six feet up.

The spider in question crawled out onto Chiyako's shoulder. I couldn't read his body language or however he communicated with Chiyako, but I don't think I would be wrong to call him eager.

"Okay," She said after a moment of hesitation.

"Don't worry Chiya-chan, he won't get hurt or in trouble," I flashed a reassuring smile in her direction as Mr. Cranberry hopped into my head. She didn't look the least bit assured, yet I lucked out. Chiyako was too nice for her own good.

I returned back to my group, catching Konohamaru in the act of trying to put a dead snake in my sleeping roll. I cleared my throat and he jerked upright. It didn't mean he took the snake out, he left if there and fled over to Hanabi.

Mr. Cranberry was safely tucked away under my coat, which any experienced ninja would notice the bulge of my shoulder. I retrieved the dead serpent from my bag and tossed it at Konohamaru. It smacked him right in the face, it was so satisfying to see him flail.

Then before I could initiate the beginnings of my true plan Iruka came to check up on us. The man hardly left our group alone, it was easy to figure out why. Damage control. Tonight would be our last night, and tomorrow we'd be packing up and doing our best to leave no traces of our stay.

"Iruka-sensei, do you know any scary stories?" I asked the moment evening fell.

"I don't think I do," The man said with a strained smile. Yes he definitely did know scary stories, but none of them were appropriate for young children. It was completely fine, because I was just leading into an opening.

"Well I know lots, perfect for camp outs," I declared with a smile.

"Oh?" Hanabi gave me a calculating look, "Are they really scary or are you just saying that?"

"Nightmares have been known to quiver in fright." Konohamaru snorted, completely skeptical, Iruka covered up his amusement with a docile expression. I ignored them and started a tale of Spider Man.

Of course it was an altered version where the spider colonies mutated the man and started consuming the whole human populace. There were no heroes, only victims. And I think I was doing a well enough job, because Konohamaru looked pasty and alert. Or maybe that was because Mr. Cranberry was doing an excellent job.

"Now she was alone in the cabin, all her friends missing, taken away to die as a cocoon in thick webbing. Drained of blood and nutrients. Some maybe eaten alive. Alone but her thoughts ran heavy with grief and fear. She could almost hear the hissing and clicking of the spiders, they liked to communicate like that. The skittering and creaking of a horde moving in. Something tickled right at her back, climbing up to her shoulder. She dared not turn around, but she couldn't just be blind to the situation. And then-"

Konohamaru's scream interrupted the tail. Mr. Cranberry hopped down before a hand could swat him, and hurried over to safety. Hanabi laughed and I joined in as I cradled the arachnid in my arm.

"That was…a very…interesting tale…" Iruka said coughing down a laugh, "But what about the spider boy?"

"He got eaten alive because female spiders tend to eat their mates." I said lightly with a shrug. Hanabi covered her mouth to contain further laughter. I popped up from my seat, as step one had been a success. Iruka would see it as just harmless revenge on Konohamaru. By the time the second stage happened, well Iruka probably wouldn't hear about it… maybe.

It depended on Konohamaru and his pride.

"Mr. Cranberry performed excellently on his mission, Chiya-chan," I told the girl as I found her once again with her group. They seemed to be getting along well enough…probably a lot better than my group. The spider seemed quite pleased by my words. "For future work I will gladly be a reference."

Chiyako giggled.

I didn't stick around much afterward. Especially since the day left everyone pretty much exhausted. Iruka went off to circulate through the other groups. I clicked my tongue at Konohamaru and he glared fiercely.

This was all way more fun then it should be.

* * *

Stage Two: make Konohamaru believe he was turning into Spider Man. Or in this case Spider Boy. For this to work I needed someone with experience in genjutsu. Someone high ranked and willing to help a young boy do better in school.

I was a little disappointed at the short list of people I knew. No one specialized in genjutsu, it was one of those skills that were often overridden by the more obvious strength of taijutsu and ninjutsu. Maybe because illusions were easy to break once you learned how.

"You've been busy lately," Shikako mused, she was fixing up a big lunch.

I tapped the pen on the table and looked at her. Seeing her cook… she really did look a lot like mom. Especially when she was wearing mom's apron. She turned to look over her shoulder, her gaze flicking up to the top of my head.

Konohamaru had said that it hadn't been his intention, that he'd only cut my hair on accident because I pulled away. Like hell I was going to believe it was only an accident. Yet he had gotten off rather lightly…. Well from the adults. My wraith was still strong.

"Hey Kako, you can potentially henge into a animals, right? Is it hard?"

"Not with practice," Her initial answer but she continued as she started putting together bentos, "You'll need to work on your chakra control, but I can't see why it would be all that different from using henge to mimic a person."

"Have you done it before? Used a henge to mimic an animal?" I asked, it'd be nice to see it in action.

"I haven't had the opportunity." Shikako sounded thoughtful as she considered.

"Then how do you know if its hard or not?" I sat up from the table as she was spreading out and using more of the surface. I pulled my notebook back. I almost asked who she was cooking for, but it was probably for her team.

She smiled to herself, but it seemed she was done with the topic just she had finished putting together three tiers. I shook my head and decided that as she suggested it was just going to be something I had to practice… but who could I trust? Mom would catch on and then I'd never get away with it.

"Here, go take this to Shika, he's training with his team," Shikako ordered in the same kind of tone mom used when she was telling me to go deliver something.

"And you said I was busy…" I muttered as I went off to my room to gather a small bag of supplies. Sketch book and notebook included amongst a few things. Since all my chores were done I had no intention at being caught at home to be pulled into anything more. It was bad enough I was playing delivery boy for my sister.

Team Ten's usual training ground was easy to find. Choji was relieved for the distraction of food, though he had his own lunch packed away as well. Ino however called for one more sparring match with Shikamaru before they stopped to eat.

"What're you working on?" Choji asked, it was more or less his way of starting up a conversation. Perhaps he was also curious of what I was doing, but knowing the guy he wouldn't press if I didn't want to talk.

"Genjutsu," I muttered and then smiled, "Will you help me?"

Choji showed some hesitation, but honestly what's the worst that could happen from an illusion?

"Maybe after lunch?"

"In theory they say that a lack of details are what give genjutsu away," I stated flipping back in my notebook, "Kind of like how you know a dream is a dream… but sometimes people have realistic dreams-so a really strong genjutsu can seem real, right?"

"If you're looking into genjutsu, I know an expert. You'll definitely ace anything on a test." Asuma said with an amused smile.

"An expert?" I closed my book and looked at the man.

Would he have suggested a thing if he knew I was working on messing with his nephew?

I almost laughed, but instead I played the act of an eager academy student.

Asuma nodded his head as he lit up a cigarette "Sure, I can introduce you to her… tomorrow good?"

Her? Genjutsu expert… There was probably someone I should know like that. Yet no name or face came to mind.

"Of course Asuma-sensei," It was really hard to refrain from laughing like a some evil villain. "Thank you."

* * *

 **AN:** this chapter so needs editing and stuff written in. also i try to post a chapter every week but medical problems have been happening. I probably should've been admitted to the hospital.

And now that the nanowrimo has started i might have to put this on pause? though it is a nice break between things. forgive me for my laziness. (medical wise things are getting better so i might actually get things done and another chapter to make up for this half hearted one.)


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